Fee-fi-fo-fum

“Fee-fi-fo-fum” — that’s the sound I heard before encountering this ogre on my way out of my mass communication class. Just to clarify, I was walking straight ahead while he was walking at an angle (SO I’M NOT TO BLAME!!). Then, my head hit the wall and — POW! I looked up to see this ogre prancing around — and HE WALKED AWAY LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. I think if a tornado hit, it would feel like a little breeze to him. I’m pretty sure he noticed, but didn’t say anything. He’s just a shy little ogre.

See below for reference to help you imagine how BIG HE IS.

Carefree

I still think about this moment in time. I was in 5th grade, trying to juggle my TikTok career and school, which was something. But the only thing I really remember from this time was that, like, period-obsessed freak I would call “Jum Jum.” She was that kid from our class who was so obnoxious that even the students got sick of her. I love a class clown, don’t get me wrong, but she was just so annoying.

So, the teacher asked me to describe a main character in the story, and a safe answer was “carefree.” I said “carefree,” and then she looked at me and locked eyes with the teacher and said, “Neo, how could you say that? That’s so wrong!” Mind you, we were all 10 or 11 years old, and it was a female teacher. Bro, just shut up!

So confused, I lowered my brightness and typed “carefree” into the search bar, and pantyliners showed up. I thought she called me a panty liner (I didn’t even know what a panty liner was). Basically, I thought she called me a baby. ( after that we stopped being friends with each other and thats where my life started to go down hill) but that's a story for another time.

So, life lesson to future parents: educate your kids so they don’t end up like me.

 

twerking

While I was taking my French exam, I saw something brown moving up and down in the corner of my eye. Intrigued, I turned my head to see what was going on, and I saw A PAIR OF BUTTOCKS literally lying on my table (sunbathing on my precious desk). The table was already small enough, and I didn't know if it was on purpose or if I was just in shock. But why was it kind of twerking while explaining? That sassy minion of a teacher was laughing too. 

In conclusion, I hate THAT sassy minion.

Getting colonized by white people ( again )

I don’t know why I picked French as an elective I can barely speak another language. And the exam is in French too. But at least I have a gyatt. But that’s 11 hours and 44 minutes, future Neo's problem, I guess. I’ve decided that I’ll be documenting everything interesting that happens at school.

According to my calculations

me 

I decided to start my blog after reading LifeLine (this week was so disappointing, by the way). I thought, "I already write, so why not make it public?" That's how my blog was born—she's a sassy queen!

If this applies to you, I don’t think this blog was meant for you.

1. Sassy men
2. Anyone who personally knows me
3. I don't know, but three rules sound more interesting to me!

I want to thank my favorite sassy man, Lemony Snicket (please, I need more books!).